Do not press....!

Why, oh why do I insist on procrastinating? Why do I leave super-important things to the last minute and cause myself hair-pulling, lip-chewing, piercing-fiddling stress and anxiety?

I mean, I know what's good for me, and what I should do. After all, I'm a "mature, young adult" (apparently). I'm reasonably successful at holding down a job, managing bills and all the little things that make up "adulthood". And yet I trip over stupid little things. Like that membership I keep intending to apply for, that big bottle of bubble bath I need to replace, picking up that piece of paper on the floor - you get the picure.

I suspect it's all down to my tendency to press that shiny red self-destruct button with "Do Not Press" emblazoned underneath it. You know how it is. Someone tells you not to laugh, and somehow you get this uncontrollable urge to do just that. It's the same with the shiny red button. Tempting you, seducing you with its ruby hue and forbidden status. It's like a bar of Munchies. You know, the ones with "You Know You Want To" written on the side. I know I shouldn't press the button. But damn, do I want to!

Ok, so I don't go out partying until dawn every night, drinking myself into oblivion. I don't tell my boss to go **** himself. I don't walk around causing public disorder, starting riots and whatnot. I don't do anything illegal (I think!!). But the tendency to be self-destructive is not limited to major things like all the examples I listed just now. It applies to doing things (or not doing things) you know you shouldn't (or should do). Like right now. I'm stressing cos of a deadline that's fast approaching, with relatively little done. I could have avoided this so easily. How? By being nice to myself, through being proactive and thus allowing myself to have a stress-free existence. It's my own fault for leaving what I had to do to the very last minute. It may come as a surprise to some, but that knowledge is of scant comfort...!

DO NOT PRESS

So, in the meantime, I'll breathe through the stress and meet the deadline, ploughing through what has to be done. And I'll tell myself, firmly, that this is the last time. That I will be more organised. That I will remember the crappy feeling associated with exactly this kind of situation. "I.will.be.nice.to.myself." - my current mantra, repeated through gritted teeth.

But, oh, what's that? Flashing in the corner of my eye? My nemesis, aka SRBSD, aka Shiny Red Button of Self-Destruction! Nooooo.....!!

Friendship

Friendship is...
A guiding hand through all your troubles
A smile to light up your world
A light at the end of the tunnel
A signpost in the middle of nowhere
Such a bond no others can share
Such a love no others can compare

Going nowhere?

I'm....

I'm tired of nights without stars,
Earth paved by Gulliver's ropes,
Walking docile with wide eyes,
I'm tired of painting angry branches through troubled thoughts on a glass sky,
I'm locked in corrugated red tin, between slats of a garden shed,
Watching Zen ants move grains of sand...(Anon)

Had we but world enough and time...

Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

Time slips through our fingers, like fine sand in a hourglass. You uselessly try to hold on to every grain. I say sod that. Throw it around! Make the most of every precious moment you have.

But what if we had all the time in the world....? As Andrew Marvell lovingly penned to his "coy mistress", if he had the time he wanted, he would love her "ten years before the Flood", and that "An hundred years should go to praise [her] eyes, and on [her] forehead gaze; Two hundred to adore each breast, But thirty thousand to the rest; An age at least to every part" before going on to declare that "...the last age should show thy heart. For, lady, you deserve this state, Nor would I love at lower rate".

Imagine a love like that! Without any bounds or time constraints. Free to love as long and as deeply as one wished. Ok, so Marvell went on to basically say if she didn't have sex with him soon, he would give up!! Or something to that effect. But the sheer romance of the concept of an infinite love...

Sadly, romance is thin on the ground these days. So one must be practical. We don't have a lot of time to do everything we would like to do in our lives. So what can one do? Make the sun run, of course!

Well? What are you waiting for? :)

[On a side note, I am rather curious if Marvell finally got his mistress to succumb to his demands. With a poem like that, I'd be very surprised if he didn't! Never underestimate the seductive power of words...]

A little bit of Tao philosophy!

Chuang Tzu once told the following story...

Once I dreamt that I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. Suddenly I awoke and there I was. Now I do not know if I was a man dreaming I was a butterfly or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man...

Makes you think doesn't it? This is what he had to say on the subject of dreaming and reality...
"Those who dream of the banquet may weep the next morning, and those who dream of weeping may go out to hunt after dawn. When we dream we do not know that we are dreaming. In our dreams we may even interpret our dreams. Only after we are awake do we know that we have dreamed. But there comes a great awakening, and then we know that life is a great dream. But the stupid think they are awake all the time and believe they know it distinctly"

Do we truly know our own reality? Or are we all dreaming? Will we ever find out the truth? Or is the truth simply a mere construction of our beliefs and perceptions?

I was reminded of this philosophical issue when watching the recent blockbuster "Inception". At the very end, we see the spinning top on the table, spinning very fast. BUT it is moving without stopping, smoothly with no hint of a tilt. At the start of the film, Leo says he can never get it to spin smoothly like that but his wife could...and she's supposed to be locked in his unconscious. So if it is spinning like that at the end, is he still within the dream? Or is he awake? Is the camera simply panning out before we see it begin to tilt, or does it continue spinning in that way? How can he ever know? How can we ever know?

Something to chew on, indeed! 

[You really do need to watch the film to understand my specific case in point above!]

Theme Song for Feminists? ;)

I just have to share this song! I have no idea why it isn't the theme song for feminism or whatever. I love it! I like the message it sends out, of powerful women who know exactly who they are and what they have to offer. And won't stand for any s*** from men. I'll never forget when I first heard it years ago. Couldn't stop dancing around to it. Still can't, whenever I play it!

Don't Call Me Baby

You and me, we have an opportunity
And we could make it something really cool
But you, you think I'm not that kind of girl
I'm here to tell you baby, I know how to rock your world

Don't think that I'm not strong
I'm the one to take you on
Don't underestimate me boy
I'll make you sorry you were born
You don't know me
The way you really should
You sure misunderstood

Dont' call me baby
You got some nerve, and baby that'll never do
You know I don't belong t o you
It's time you knew I'm not your baby
I belong to me, so
Don't call me baby

Behind my smile is my IQ
I must admit, this does not sit, with the likes of you
You're really sweet
Mmm, you're really nice
But didn't mama ever tell you not to play with fire?

Pow! ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4-PcMSxrUA

P.S On a sidenote, I appreciate that the singer isn't showing a lot of flesh in the video and yet manages to come across as sexy and powerful. Sometimes keeping your clothes ON is far better than taking them off. But that's a topic for another time....

My shiny new blog!

Well, hello there!

Thought it was time to set up a blog as I have so much to say. The world's such an amazing place, I want to share my observations of it. Good, bad, downright ugly, beautiful, fantastic, mediocre - whatever. They all have a place in this blog!

Right now, we're in the midst of a revolution. What with the student fees protests, the tube strikes, the Wikileaks revelations, countries far away such as Haiti pushing for a democracy, and a burgeoning awareness of climate change and global warming, it's hard not to deny that change is happening. All that along with the recession and its inevitable discontent; well, you've got a recipe for a full-blown revolution! I hope so, anyway. It's time we had one. At least we won't have any cries of "Off with their heads!" like during the French Revolution, and heads rolling all over the place. Here, the heads rolling will be merely figurative - one hopes!

The world is waking up. Or rather, the UK is waking up at least. Fading fast is our general apathy, and replacing it is a desire to do something about the situation we're in. What's even more amazing about this is that I'm even getting involved. I have actual views on the government and how things should be done. Maybe I am finally grown-up??!! Whatever the case is, it is a good time to start writing a blog. I want to remember this time in my life and in history. As of now, I am calling myself a centre-left-wing feminist. (In that last sentence, I sound like a hockey or netball player which is deeply ironic considering how rubbish I am at sports!)

I am curious about how things will pan out. But it makes me smile to see that people finally seem to be taking Gandhi's words to heart - "Be the change you wish to see in the world". It is time we listened to the masters of history and follow their words of wisdom. Sadly, I doubt we will...!